Maybe it wasn't meant to be
by KeikoHPfan
Summary: It's not that Scorpius doesn't know it will never lead to anything. It's just that he can't help it. He'll keep his broken heart hidden and watch from afar. Or so he thinks, because James seems to have other ideas. Will be slash. SM/JP
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Slash (nothing too graphic) / Perhaps some violence at one point or another

**AN: **I fell in love with that pairing while writing "It should have been simple enough" and got this idea a while ago...

Anyway, here you are, I hope you'll enjoy it!

HP-HP-HP-HP

Scorpius sighs and looks at his hands. Albus is laughing his arse off with Hugo about something Muggle than Scorpius doesn't get and the blonde can only stare and wish he hadn't come after all.

It's his own fault, of course. After all these years, he should know better. But Albus has insisted, and Scorpius can't say no to his best friend, no matter what stupid idea Albus has. And especially when said idea includes Hugo at one point or another.

So here he is, sitting on the rug in front of the fireplace of the Potter's home, listening to Albus and his cousin talk about things he doesn't understand and willing his stupid crush to just _go away_.

It's not really likely to happen, mind you. Scorpius' crush on Hugo is a long-time story. It began somewhere during their Hogwarts' school years. Albus and Scorpius had both been Sorted in Ravenclaw and both been quite bewildered about it. Consequently, they soon became friends – especially since they discovered they had similar tastes for lots of things.

Scorpius is insanely grateful to have met Albus, for he is not particularly skilled at making friends. At that is probably an understatement. But Albus, surrounded by siblings and cousins and dozens of other relatives for all his life, has been more than happy to enjoy his exclusive friendship with Scorpius, and so the pair has remained faithfully at each other's side since then.

Now, at twenty, they are both studying to become Curse-Breakers and Albus is still the best friend one could have.

Except…

Except that along the way, Scorpius has developed a very embarrassing crush on Albus' cousin, Hugo. The boy is everything that Scorpius is not. Outgoing and friendly, always laughing the louder and the worst prankster since the famous Weasley Twins.

The worst is, Hugo doesn't even like Scorpius. The blonde is aware that Hugo only tolerates him for Albus' sake – truth to be told they must have exchanged maybe twenty words in the nine years they've known each other.

Maybe it's because Scorpius is a Malfoy. Maybe it's because Hugo simply can't stand him. It doesn't matter either way. Hugo is straight as an arrow – not to mention he's rumored to have snogged nearly all of the girls in their years at Hogwarts – and even if he were gay, he wouldn't touch Scorpius with a ten feet pole.

"So, what d'you think, Scorp?"

"What?"

"I swear sometimes I wonder where your brain is."

Albus rolls his eyes and Hugo snorts disdainfully, causing the blonde's chest to tighten painfully in a now familiar fashion.

"Sorry" he says with a smile, and he feels his cheeks heat.

"Hugo and I are going to the Muggle club I told you about. We'll meet Emily there, and maybe you and Hugo can find some nice girls, who knows?"

"Well, I certainly will" Hugo drawls with a wink, and Scorpius' wonders for the umpteenth why he has agreed to spend the week end with Albus and Hugo.

"Well, Scorpius' girlfriends are always very discreet, aren't they? I say he's ashamed of us!"

"Al, you know it's not that. Besides, it was never anything serious."

It wasn't_ girls_ either, but Albus doesn't need to know that. Nobody does, even if his father says otherwise. No matter what the elder Malfoy says, he knows things would change if he were to come out.

"For all we know, your friend could be a blushing virgin."

"Ah, stop that, Hugo! Though you're certainly blushing, mate!"

Scorpius just shakes his head, unable to answer. He is definitely no virgin, but he has not slept with any girl either, and he hasn't shared any of his stories with anyone.

"I'm just teasing you, Scorp. So, you want to come with us? I think Jamie will be there too, if he manages to get out of work early enough."

"He's at work on a Saturday?" Scorpius asks with a frown.

"Yeah." Albus sighs and shakes his head. "I swear he's workaholic. Dad keeps telling him to slow down, but I don't think he realizes how hard it is for Jamie."

"How so?"

Hugo snorts and looks at Scorpius as if he's stupid. Which he probably is, all things considered.

"His father is Harry Potter. Vanquisher of Voldemort, former Auror and Head Auror… What d'you think? Everyone thinks James got his job thanks to Uncle Harry. He has to work twice as much as the other Aurors and even like that… well, let's say it's rough for him."

"Yeah… I almost wish he would do something else, but he's good and that's what he wants to do."

"It's not fair."

Albus nods sadly and smiles, cocking his head to the side in a way that certainly makes Emily swoon.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not your girlfriend. Okay, okay, I'll come."

Scorpius doesn't miss Hugo's annoyed sigh, but Albus hugs him exuberantly and starts to rant about Emily and how wonderful she is. If he's not completely in love, it sure looks like it, Scorpius thinks with a fond smile for his best friend. And he knows for a fact that the girl is just as smitten, if her shy confession a few weeks ago is any clue.

If only he could get so lucky.

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The club is crowded, the music is way too loud and Scorpius is bored. Albus and Emily are dancing together a few feet away, seemingly in their own little world, and Hugo is apparently trying to suffocate the pretty brunette he's dancing with – for Scorpius can't think of any other reason that would force the redhead to dance _that_ close to her.

"Well aren't you in a cheerful mood!"

The sudden whisper in his hear makes Scorpius startle badly and spill his drink all over his shirt.

"James! For the love of-fuck, my shirt is ruined!"

"Sorry mate."

To his credit, James does looks at least a bit sheepish. And amused. He looks more amused than sheepish, but Scorpius doesn't expect anything else from him.

"How are you doing, James? Al is worried about you."

"He shouldn't. I'm fine, just a lot of work lately." James searches for Albus in the crowd before grinning widely. "Hey, it seems that he's not so worried right now. 'S that Emily?"

"Yes. Didn't you meet her before?" Scorpius frowns, bewildered. He has met Emily almost four weeks ago.

"No. I'm afraid I have not been around a lot lately."

James sighs and Scorpius suddenly sees how exhausted the dark haired man seems to be. He orders a beer before plopping down next to Scorpius on a bar stool.

"What the hell are you drinking, mate?"

"A Black Russian."

"Ew. Looks awful. Rough night?"

"Hardly" Scorpius scoffs. His gaze drifts almost against his will to the place where he's last seen Hugo. He's still there, still wrapped around the girl, his hands dangerously low on her hips. Scorpius looks away.

"Don't do that to yourself."

"What?"

"Just… Don't you think it's time to let go? It's been, I don't know, five years? Six?"

"What-I don't-I'm not sure I understand-"

"Relax, Scorpius. I won't tell anyone – though you really should tell. Not about Hugo, but about who you are, I mean."

"It's not that easy, there is-"

"No, it's not. But… in my experience, the longer you wait, the harder it'll get. No pun intended."

James is grinning childishly, his eyes sparkling with amusement. He downs the rest of his beer and seems to think about his next words carefully.

"Scorpius… It's your choice to come out, really. But… You really should try to think of someone else in any case. It'll never work out with Hugo, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know" Scorpius agrees, feeling more and more miserable.

"You're only hurting yourself. It's time to move on, I think. One day someone will be very lucky to be with you. Don't let them wait too long."

James hops off the stool and sets his empty glass on the counter behind them.

"I'm going to see if I remember how to dance, it's been ages since I last went to a club. You coming?"

"What? No, thanks."

"Suit yourself, Scorpius. See you later!"

Scorpius can only nod dumbly and stare at the back of James' messy dark head as the other man makes his way through the crowded dance floor. He's feeling so disturbed that he simply leaves after a few minutes, blindly searching for the exit and feeling like in a daze.

What the hell just happened?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Slash (nothing too graphic) / Perhaps some violence at one point or another

**AN: **And here's the second chapter! I have so much fun with the both of them... Anyway, here it is, I hope you'll like it!

And, you know, maybe leave me a review? I mean, I always appreciate when you're favoriting/following my stories, you know that, but I really love to read you, to know what you think, what you liked or disliked... So, humor me? Pretty please?

HP-HP-HP-HP

"Hey, Scorp!"

Scorpius raises his head to look at his best friend, who's trying – and failing – to whisper quietly in the silent library.

"What?"

"We've got this big family gathering next week-end, and Jamie needs a date to show everyone that he has a life – even if he doesn't."

"So?"

"I thought you could do me a favor and pretend to be his date?"

"You thought... what?"

"Shhhh! Come on, let's get out of here before old Mrs. Cramp bans us from the library!"

Scorpius rolls his eyes but follows his best friend out of the room, nodding to the librarian with a smile as she shakes her head fondly. Scorpius and Albus are probably the most hard-working students of the Curse-Breaking School and the librarian adores them.

"What's that stupid idea of yours now?"

"Well, actually, it's Jamie's."

"What?"

"Look, he's fed up with Mum's and well, everyone's questioning him about his personnal life – or lack thereof. You're already friends so I told him you were a good choice."

"Al, I swear some day I will kill you."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, tell James to find someone else."

"Scorp, wait."

Al grips the blonde's forearm tightly and sighs.

"I'm sorry it came out like that, you know how I am. Look, it's just... James is lonely. Like, very, very lonely. He does nothing but work and I begin to really worry about him. He could use a friend, I think. And I thought... maybe you could use one as well."

Al's green eyes shine too brightly and Scorpius frowns.

"I have you, mate."

"I know. And I'll annoy you till the end of times, you know that. But... maybe you need another friend."

Scorpius' frown deepens.

"To talk about Hugo" Al blurts out suddenly, and Scorpius stops breathing.

"I-I mean-"

"I'm not stupid, mate. I've always known." Albus smiles kindly and shrugs. "But I figured you'd tell me in your own time, so I didn't say anything. So, anyway, I'm sure you two will have a lot of fun, and it'll keep my mother from harrassing James. What d'you say?"

"This is crazy, Al."

"Probably. But, it's only a one-time thing, and then-"

"Wait. What will your family say when James comes alone to the next family gathering? They'll hate me, Al, they'll think I-"

"Scorp, nobody will hate you. James will say that it didn't work out or something. Don't worry."

Don't worry, Scorpius snorts to himself. That's easy for the idiot to say. Fuck, why is he Albus Potter's best friend already?

"Alright" the blonde hears himself say, and he curses inwardly both his weakness and Albus' puppy eyes. "But if this comes back to bite me, I'll make you regret it."

Albus snickers and mutters something about biting under his breath before flashing Scorpius an innocent grin.

"Great! So he'll pick you up at six on Saturday."

"What? No, I'll just Floo to the Burrow-"

"No, mate. It'll be weird no to come together if you're supposed to be a couple, you know."

Scorpius groans out loud and hits Albus on the back of his head with his Runes textbook.

The surprised gasp of his best friend is only mildly satisfying.

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On a scale from one to invading Russia in the winter (1), how bad is this fucking idea? Scorpius sighs and straightens his button-down for the umpteenth time. He's feeling insanely anxious, not because of James, but because of what the Potters and the Weasleys will think of him. Scorpius has never really managed to feel completely at ease with him, no matter how many times Molly Weasley or Harry Potter tried to assure him that he is in fact welcome among them. No matter how hard Scorpius' father has worked to redeem himself and to clear the name of their family, many are still wary of them. Many still don't trust anyone whose name is Malfoy.

Truth to be told, Scorpius probably has to thank Albus for being left in peace during their Hogwarts years. And his family has always been kind and accepting of Scorpius, always trying to make him feel at ease, welcomed, liked. He feels bad at deceiving them with James' and Albus' little plan. It seems like a betrayal, somehow. It seems wrong.

The screeching sound of the front door bell makes Scorpius jump and he curses quietly before opening said door with much more force than required.

"Hum, hello? Are you alright, Scorpius?"

James is frowning, concern evident on his handsome features, and Scorpius shakes his head.

"Look, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I understand. I won't have you making yourself sick over such a silly thing."

"It's not- I just, well... Fuck, come in."

James does, still looking slightly worried. Scorpius notices that the dark haired man seems to have taken particular care of his appearance today, if the soft looking jumper and nice dark jeans are any clue.

"It's just… I like your family, and I don't feel so good knowing I will lie to them. Not to mention they don't know I'm… you know."

"Gay. You're gay. Well, I hardly think this will be a problem, since I'm gay. And Uncle Charlie is as well."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Well, when you have such a big family, statistically it's bound to happen."

Scorpius closes his eyes.

"Hey. I can go alone, you know. No big deal. I didn't tell anyone who my boyfriend is, and I think they didn't believe me when I said I had one anyway." James wrinkles his nose. "Which should probably offend me, now that I think of it."

Scorpius chuckles and James grins, apparently relieved to see the tension disappear from the blonde.

"I'll do it. If anything, it'll allow me to come out smoothly. I doubt anyone will say anything too bad with you at my side."

"Nobody will say anything bad anyway, mate. But if it's easier for you that way, then I'm at your service."

He bows ridiculously and Scorpius snorts. James sobers and seems to hesitate for a second.

"Scorpius, thank you for doing that for me. I owe you."

"Damn right you do."

"If you ever need something, just tell me, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll think about that. Shall we?"

"Yes. The good thing about you is that everyone already knows you, so you'll be spared the awkward presentations. And they know you're a low-key kind of guy, so we won't have to be too demonstrative."

James takes Scorpius' arm and leads them to the fireplace before the blonde has the time to properly register his words.

_Demonstrative?_

Oh fuck. Scorpius actually hasn't thought of that. They're supposed to behave like a couple. To touch. To kiss, maybe.

Oh Merlin.

What will Hugo think? And how in the hell will Scorpius be able to play his part in front of his long time crush?

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(1) I know that neither Hitler or Napoleon actually did invade Russia in the winter (honestly, how fucking stupid would that be?), and that both their armies were in fact stuck in the muddy automn weather, but I do find this expression funny. Bear with me, please?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Slash (nothing too graphic) / Perhaps some violence at one point or another

**AN: **Thank you for the support and kind words! I hope you like the new chapter, I'm in love with those two!

Enjoy, and please, please review!

HP-HP-HP-HP

Dozens of pairs of eyes turn their way as soon as James and Scorpius step out the Floo in the Burrow's living room. Scorpius feels like a monkey at the zoo.

James wraps a strong arm around his waist, and Scorpius knows it's more to steady him than to put up a show, if the hand briefly squeezing his hip is any clue.

"Hi everybody!"

They all seem frozen and Scorpius begins to fidget under their stunned gazes. In the end it's James' father who comes to their rescue, his honest and broad smile unwavering as he makes his way through the crowd of red and dark heads that is the extended Weasley family.

"Hi boys! Scorpius, it's good to see you!"

Harry hugs him with one arm, whispering quietly in his ear 'it'll be okay' before stepping aside to hug his son. Scorpius sees Albus waving exuberantly from the kitchen, his girlfriend smiling apologetically beside him – no doubt that she has experienced that kind of awkward moment, and she didn't even know the family beforehand.

James' mother is looking sharply from him to James, but she seems to reach a conclusion and smiles warmly at Scorpius, kissing his cheek before frowning at her eldest son.

"James. You could have told us that Scorpius was your boyfriend! Honestly! I don't blame you at all, dear, of course."

"Mum-"

"Don't Mum me, and go help your grandmother in the kitchen. I'll introduce Scorpius to the family members he doesn't already know."

James raises his hands in mock surrender and squeezes Scorpius' shoulder before disappearing in the small kitchen to do as requested.

Scorpius is glad to have spent so many summers with Albus as a teenager, because he already knows most of the people gathered at the Burrow today. He finally finds himself sit in an old couch next to Harry, who winks mischievously before retrieving a bottle of beer from behind the coffee table and hands it to him with a grin.

"Bit rough, the whole family at once, isn't it? It took me ages to remember all of the names."

"Yes."

"George always makes sure to bring beers. Molly and Ginny often get a bit excessive with the food, and it's better to stay away from the kitchen unless you've been unlucky enough to be asked for help. So we wait here and hope to be forgotten."

Scorpius chuckles and George raises his bottle of beer from his spot on the rug. One of Albus' uncle – Percy – asks something to Harry and Scorpius takes a sip of his beer, hoping that he'll be indeed forgotten, at least for a little bit.

"I didn't know you were gay."

Scorpius chokes on his mouthful of beer, and only his Malfoy upbringing prevents him from spitting the liquid all over himself. Lily is looking straight at him, unblinking, her long auburn hair falling all over her shoulders. Scorpius tries to breathe normally again.

"Er, yes, well… I wasn't really… I mean…"

"You were not ready?"

"Yes. I suppose I wasn't."

Lily frowns and studies his face for a moment, and the blonde feels the beginning of an embarrassing blush warming his cheeks.

"How serious are you about James?"

"Lily!"

James is standing behind her, looking torn between amusement and exasperation.

"What?"

"I don't scare off your boyfriends. Stop torturing mine."

"I'm not! I'm just curious about-"

"Lily! That's enough."

Harry's voice is soft but there's an edge of steel to it that makes Lily shut her mouth promptly. Scorpius is impressed – and relieved. Lily is known to be extremely curious, terribly obstinate and overly protective of her big brothers.

"Scorpius?"

"Yes?"

"The food is nearly ready, d'you want to get some fresh air before lunch?"

Scorpius stands up so quickly that he startles James, who takes a step backwards before letting out a bark-like laugh that makes the blonde grin.

"That eager to get rid of me? I'm wounded."

"Oh! No, Mr. Potter not at all, it's just-"

"I'm only joking, Scorpius. And how many times should I tell you to call me Harry? I'm not that old."

"Well, you're not that young either, Dad-"

"Get out. Ungrateful son."

James grins and takes Scorpius' hand, who nearly yanks it back before he remembers that he's supposed to be the dark-haired boyfriend.

The Burrow's garden is just as it always has been. Messy and unkempt and perfect. Scorpius smiles as he remembers playing Quidditch there with Albus and his cousins. The fresh air clears his mind and he smiles at James, who's looking uncharacteristically serious.

"Thank you. That was just what I needed."

James smiles then, a bright and real smile that lights up his whole face. His hair is as messy as usual and Scorpius can't help but raise a hand to drag his fingers through it to try to get the rebellious hair to flatten a bit.

He chuckles as the gesture is completely useless and meets James' surprised gaze.

"Er… sorry. I just-I-"

"No, it's fine. Hopeless, though. I inherited my father's hair and it has a will of its own."

"Yeah, I can see that."

Scorpius snorts, and James flushes a bit, trying to get his hair to behave with both hands, his eyes on the ground. Scorpius regrets his comment, but honestly James' reaction is kind of a surprise. The man has never seemed self-conscious, and he hasn't any reason to either. He's a rather handsome guy. Tall and toned by years of Quidditch and Auror Training. With a handsome face, deep brown eyes that are almost always smiling, and that earnest and open expression that is the Potter trademark.

"We should go back before someone notices our absence."

"I think they're all behind the windows watching us, you know."

"What?"

"Well, look, but I'll bet anything my mother and Lily are, at least."

Scorpius casts a quick glance toward the house and freezes.

"Merlin."

"Yeah. Sorry, come on, let's go eat something, I'm starving."

James grins and wraps his arm around Scorpius' waist in a gesture that feels oddly natural. Familiar, almost. Scorpius shakes his head and tries to think about something else.

The rest of the day is fairly good, if Scorpius is honest. They laugh a lot. Eat even more. Drink too much, for some of them. At the end of the day, Scorpius finds himself half-leaning on James as they all sit in the living-room for coffee. He's speaking quietly with Albus about their studies – and Albus is absently stroking Emily's cheek as the girl is lying with her head on his lap. From time to time, they join James and whoever is talking with him at the moment, and laugh at his witty jokes and quick retorts.

It's nice.

It would be nicer if Scorpius could forget about Hugo, who's strangely silent today, and who's watching them closely from the other side of the room.

James says something about relationships to his uncle George and casually kisses the top of Scorpius' head, and the blonde feels himself blush.

Hugo's blue eyes are still on them and Scorpius fidgets a little under his scrutinity. James must sense his unease because he wraps his arm around Scorpius' shoulders, making the blonde lean even more against him, and his thumb caresses Scorpius' biceps in a slow stroke.

Something strange passes in Hugo's eyes but it's gone so quickly that Scorpius can't recognize the emotion.

He feels weirdly giddy, though. More confident, somehow.

James' deep laugh sends vibrations through his whole body and Scorpius smiles, snuggling closer to his fake boyfriend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Slash (nothing too graphic) / Perhaps some violence at one point or another

**AN: **Here's the new chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it! Let me loads of reviews, you know how much we love them... See you next chapter!

HP-HP-HP-HP

Scorpius is only mildly surprised to receive an owl from James two days after the gathering at the Burrow. He opens the letter with a half-smile, remembering the day with fondness.

_Dear Scorpius,_

_I know our 'association' was meant to be a one-time thing, but I've got this Ministry party next week and I was wondering if maybe you would like to come with me? As my date, I mean?_

_It's mostly boring but the Champagne is great according to Dad – I wouldn't know I can't abide the stuff – and I promise to treat you with dinner afterwards. We had a good time on Sunday, well, at least I did, and I thought it could be nice to spend some more time together. _

_I hope it's not too confusing, I know I'm not good with writing._

_So, let me know if you want to go, and if yes, whether you will be wearing dress robes or a suit, so that I can dress accordingly. And maybe which color you will wear because I think some colors don't mix or something like that. Don't worry, I will ask my mother._

_Yours,_

_James_

Scorpius' smile grows larger. James writes like he talks and probably thinks. It's a messy and disorganized but full of energy and of that joyful way of living.

Scorpius can't refuse.

Perhaps he should, though. There is this nagging feeling at the back of his mind, the kind of itching sensation you get when something isn't quite right. Scorpius can't describe it, but it's undeniably there. Still, it's only a silly feeling, obviously, and the blonde writes back to James to accept. And to tell him he'll be wearing pearl grey dress robes.

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The Ministry party really _is_ boring. And Merlin knows Scorpius has already had his fair share of boring parties, with his Pureblood parents – his father isn't particularly fond of them but his mother insists, and Draco has never been able to refuse Astoria anything. As it is, Scorpius unapproachable expression ensures that nobody talks to him, and he's doing his best to wait for James to be done with his obligations.

Though James was right: the Champagne is quite good, Scorpius muses as he takes another sip. His date is skillfully making his way through the crowd, avoiding annoying old witches and reporters with a grace that Scorpius wouldn't have thought him capable of. But the eldest Potter has years of practice and makes it without trouble, grinning to Scorpius in that irresistible way of his. Wait, not irresistible. Cute, though. Fuck.

"Bored enough?" James asks, his brown eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Hardly."

"Liar. I thought we could go. I mean, I've come, I've talked to those stupid reporters about the department and licked the necessary boots, so I think I'm allowed to leave."

Scorpius chuckles at James' hopeful expression and lets the taller man lead him out of the Ministry, expertly avoiding everyone. The air is cold outside but it clears Scorpius' mind, and for the first time tonight he really looks at James. The anthracite robes do wonders for his figure, enhancing the broad shoulders and slim waist of the Auror. Why in the hell is the man still single?

"So, hungry? I don't know if you know any, er, fancy restaurants out there because truth to be told it's not really my cup of tea and I have no idea-"

"What would you want to eat if I wasn't there?"

James blinks, looking a bit lost.

"Well, er, I'll probably just buy fish and chips and eat it on my couch but-"

"Great. Let's do that, then. Where can we buy those?"

Ten minutes later, Scorpius begins to regret his sudden boldness. He's pretty sure that newspapers shouldn't be used to wrap food – it's most certainly unsanitary. But James' pleased expression is worth the trouble, he supposes as he follows the dark haired man in his apartment. It's just like him: messy and warm and curiously welcoming.

"Er, don't mind the mess. I didn't expect any visitor" he says sheepishly, and Scorpius chuckles – again. He's doing this an awful lot around James.

They eat the greasy food on the couch – and with their fingers, because James says it's not as good with proper cutlery – and James entertains Scorpius with hilarious childhood stories and inappropriate office gossip. James is a gifted story teller, his humor is never mean and Scorpius is content just to relax and to listen to him. There is something about the other man that makes Scorpius feel deeply at ease, in a way that he has only experienced with Albus – and maybe not even to that extent. And he is glad, for he has few friends and James' easy friendship is more than welcome.

All in all, Scorpius has a damn good time, and when they realized it's past 2am, he can't believe so much time has passed. James opens the Floo for him and whispers "good night" in a quiet voice, and Scorpius can only nod in return, his throat feeling inexplicably too tight to talk.

He's just tired. Just tired.

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Albus is laughing at something his girlfriend has said, his head thrown back and his shoulders shaking. Scorpius smiles, because it's good to see him like that. He sips at his Butterbeer and looks around, trying very hard to ignore Hugo's presence and to enjoy their little outing in this new bar of Diagon Alley. It's nice enough, he supposes, if one likes that type of things. He's not sure he does.

"I heard you went to the Ministry party with James" Hugo suddenly says, and Scorpius jumps two feet in the air.

"Er, yes, yes. I did."

"Why?"

Scorpius frowns and looks up at Hugo. His blue eyes are fixed on his face, and the blonde feels himself blush.

"Well, he asked me to. We're dating, after all."

"Not really."

"What?"

"You're not really dating."

"Did Al tell you?"

"No. I guessed. James is so transparent it's not even funny, and you were so tense all day that it seemed obvious."

Scorpius fidgets on his chair, feeling ill-at-ease. He has never really talked to Hugo, as much as he wished it all those years, but now that they are actually talking, he wants nothing more than to flee and hide somewhere. Maybe because discussing his fake relationship with the man he's been crushing on for so long is all kind of awkward, especially since Hugo is James' cousin. Fuck. Why him?

"And he's not right for you anyway."

"What? What do you mean?"

Hugo shrugs, gulping what's left of his beer none too elegantly.

"I love James, but he's... kind of dull, I guess."

"Dull?" Scorpius is oddly upset by the statement. "I don't think James is 'dull'. He's a great guy."

"Yes, yes, of course he is. I just meant that he's not the right kind of guy for you. You need someone more... I don't know. Passionate."

Scorpius chokes on his own spit and meets Albus' concerned gaze. There's no way his best friend can hear what Hugo and he are talking about, but Albus knows Scorpius better than anyone else and he sees that something's not right. That, and the way Hugo is leaning toward Scorpius.

Scorpius suddenly needs air, and after a mumbled apology he stumbles ungracefully through the bar until he reaches the exit.

He's panting like he's just run a marathon, and feeling weirdly dizzy.

What the hell? Hugo has never shown any interest in Scorpius. At all. Not as a friend, and certainly not as anything else. The redhead has always acted as if the mere sight of Scorpius disgusted him a little. And Scorpius is pretty sure that Hugo's numerous conquests have always been female.

So, what has changed?

And what the fuck is he doing, standing here on his own when the man of his dreams, who's just very obviously flirted with him a few minutes ago, is inside?

Just as he turns around to get back inside, two arms wrap around his waist and a rough voice whispers in his ear, making him shudder helplessly.

"Fleeing, Scorpius?"

Hugo mouths is suddenly on his neck, and he bites down harshly. It just plain hurts and Scorpius gasps.

"Would be a pity, after all those years spent pinning for me..." Hugo's teeth find Scorpius' earlobe and the blonde winces at the pain. "Couldn't really see the appeal, but I suppose you're sort of pretty... Thought I'd give it a try..."

Scorpius frees himself and looks at Hugo, his eyes burning and his cheeks flaming with shame and embarrassment.

"Think about it" Hugo just whispers, giving Scorpius a wink before going back to the bar.

Scorpius stands outside for a very long time, and when he Apparates away, he's barely conscious of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Slash (nothing too graphic) / Perhaps some violence at one point or another

**AN: **Here you are! Don't be too hard on Hugo - he's a moron, but he'll regret it soon enough. And Scorpius needs this to move on with his life.

Anyway, here you are, please enjoy!

HP-HP-HP-HP

James says nothing as he opens the door and comes face to face with Scorpius, who knows he must look a mess. He just smiles sadly and opens the door wider to let him enter his flat, and Scorpius is grateful for his silence. He's not sure he can handle any questions right now, which is probably why he's here and not at Albus' – well, that, and he's not sure what Hugo might have told Al, and he's not sure if Al is home alone either.

James makes Scorpius sit on his couch and gently taps his wand to the blonde's neck and ear, whispering softly, and the familiar tingle of Healing Charms on his skin makes Scorpius' eyes fill with tears for some reason. He bits his lip hard to keep himself from crying and hears James' sigh.

"Don't do that. You're going to hurt yourself. I don't want to have to heal you again. Tea?"

Scorpius nods without looking up, and hears James leave the room.

He has no idea what he's doing here. He shouldn't have come, but his fuzzy mind has made him Apparate straight in front of James' door, and all of a sudden Scorpius has wished nothing more than to see the dark haired man. He has stood in the dimly lit hallway for a while, though, before finding the courage to knock.

James is back, handing Scorpius a cup of steaming tea with a smile.

"One sugar and lemon, am I right?"

Scorpius nods and tries to smile in thanks. He quietly sips for a while, letting the hot beverage soothe his frazzled nerves.

"I should probably explain" he says, and James smiles.

"You don't have to. Al Fire called just before you arrived to tell me something has happened and that he didn't know where you were. I should probably let him know you're alright."

"I didn't want him to worry. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'll just call him right now."

Scorpius watches as James kneels in front of the fireplace and then speaks in hushed tones to an obviously very worried Albus. Scorpius feels his stomach twist with remorse for letting his best friend get so concerned about him. He'll apologize later, he supposes.

When James straightens and slowly stands up, Scorpius knows he owes his friend an explanation for barging in that late – and shit, it seems that James was already in bed or getting ready to do so, at least, if the old tee-shirt and plaid pajama pants are any clue. He's still trying to find a way to explain what happened while himself doesn't understand it at all when the dark haired softly speaks.

"I know I said you didn't have to explain, and you don't have to if you don't want to, but... I'd really like to know who has hurt you that way."

James' voice is still soft and even, but there's something new in his tone. Something almost dangerous under the quietness of his voice, like a steely edge barely discernable under the man's kindness. Scorpius shivers without knowing why exactly.

"It was Hugo... But... It's not like that. I mean, he didn't want to hurt me." Hugo wouldn't want that, would he? "He said..." Things that Scorpius can't bring himself to repeat. "That... that he's interested. In me."

"I see."

"I don't know what to do."

James sighs and Scorpius sees from the corner of his eye how the dark haired closed his eyes for a moment.

"I think you should go home and try to sleep. There's nothing you can do tonight and you're in no state to make any decision."

Scorpius wants to ask if he may sleep on James' couch, but he knows it would be too much, and he knows he hasn't any right to ask for something like that. So he just nods and stands up, trying to make his weak legs cooperate.

"Will you be alright? Are you able to Floo on you own?"

Salazar, how pathetic does he look like right now for James to ask this?

"I'll be fine. I'm sorry to have disturbed you, James, I just- I couldn't think straight and, well..."

"Don't worry. I'm glad you came here."

"Thank you, for, you know."

"You're welcome."

"Good night, then."

"Good night, Scorpius."

HP-HP-HP-HP

The owl comes quite unexpectedly the next morning. The bloody bird drops its package on the table, barely avoiding Scorpius' breakfast plate. It seems very pleased with itself all the same, and begins to steal bits of toast between happy hoots.

Scorpius scowls.

And then he opens the package and he gapes.

Half a dozen of red roses are tied together with a cream ribbon, and there is a note attached to it.

_If you're still interested, tonight 8pm at the Piccolo Ristorante. Yours, Hugo._

And that's all.

No explanation. No apology. No inquiry concerning Scorpius' wellbeing. Nothing.

If Scorpius thought he was confused earlier, it's nothing compared with right now. Two weeks ago, he would have been ecstatic to receive such a note with beautiful flowers. Two weeks ago, he wouldn't have thought twice before sending his enthusiastic reply.

But now, all he can think about is Hugo's weird behavior the night before. All he can think about is the shameful feeling that lingers in his gut, telling him that what happened yesterday wasn't right. That he's going to get hurt somewhere along the way.

What if Hugo only wants to experiment? What if Scorpius is just another notch on his bedpost, another prey to hunt and to conquer before finding a new target? Will it be worth it?

Because Scorpius isn't stupid. He might be infatuated with the man since, well, ever, but it doesn't mean he's completely blind. He knows that there is a high chance for this to be a one-night stand. Perhaps he could convince Hugo that they could have more?

Shit, is love supposed to be this complicated? Is it supposed to hurt that much?

An image comes to his mind, almost against his will.

Of a dark haired man with gentle eyes and an easy grin.

He's in such a mess. It would be funny if it wasn't so fucking depressing.

He needs Albus. And maybe a therapist.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Slash (nothing too graphic) / Perhaps some violence at one point or another

**AN: **New chapter! Enjoy, and please review!

HP-HP-HP-HP

"Did you talk with Hugo?" Al asks two days later, and Scorpius freezes.

"No."

"What happened that night?"

"Nothing."

"Scorp... Hugo said it was nothing but I'm not stupid and I know the both of you."

"Really, Al, it's okay... I think Hugo was a bit drunk, that's all."

"He did something stupid. I'm going to kill him, honestly. Tell me."

Al is trying to look stern and threatening, Scorpius knows, but he has known him for far too long. Al's green eyes are full of concern and barely veiled anger, and Scorpius smiles.

"Really, Al, it's okay."

"It's not! I'm not stupid, Scorp. I know how you feel about him. Hey, it's alright, I don't mind or anything. Well, I do mind that you fell for my idiotic cousin, but that's beside the point."

Al stands up and moves around the small bar table until he sits next to Scorpius, who can't help but lean into his best friend's embrace.

"You should have told me, mate." Al sighs and ruffles Scorpius' hair, grinning at the blonde's scowl. "Anyway, I'm so mad about Hugo. And, Scorp... I don't know how to say this, but... Hugo... He's not a bad guy, really. But he's... I don't know how to say this. It's not my place to tell you what to do, Scorp, but don't expect too much."

Scorpius closes his eyes because, really, it's not a surprise, and he has known everything Albus is telling him, and he knows that Hugo's sudden and unexpected interest won't lead to anything more than maybe a few dates and most likely a quick tumble in the sheets that will satisfy Hugo's curiosity and leave Scorpius with a bruised body – and a bruised heart.

"I know."

"Alright."

"I'm just not sure if I should risk it and try to move on afterwards."

Albus hums noncommittally and Scorpius knows that his best friend is trying to make him talk.

"And after that night... I'm not too sure about what I feel, either."

"Jamie told me you came to see him afterwards. No, no, he didn't tell me anything else, just that you were pretty shaken."

"Yeah. And I'm not sure... I'm not sure it's real, what I've been feeling... I realized... I don't really know Hugo, and with what happened that night, I just... I don't know."

"He's been a real jerk, then, hasn't he? Fuck."

"He sent me flowers, the next day. And asked me out."

"What?" Albus sighs and takes a sip of his Butterbeer. "And he didn't apologize for whatever he did, did he?"

Scorpius just shakes his head, feeling miserably lost.

"And James sent me an owl this morning – apparently he's got an official dinner with a few Heads of Departments and he wanted to know if I'd be willing to play his date once more."

Albus looks almost pained for a moment, and then he begins to chew on his lower lip, a frown on his face. He seems to think about what to say for a while before turning his gaze on Scorpius again.

"Did you accept?"

"Not yet."

"You should. You'll have a good time with Jamie, he'll be happy to see a friendly face at this boring stuff, and it'll take your mind off the mess with Hugo."

"That, and the free Champagne."

"That, and the free Champagne," Albus agrees with a grin, and Scorpius chuckles.

HP-HP-HP-HP

Scorpius hasn't thought that it would be that formal, to be honest. James shifts uneasily in his dress robes next to him, and Scorpius instinctively puts his hand on the other's man forearm.

"What's the matter?" he whispers quietly.

"I hate this stuff. I feel out of place, I hate almost everything there is to eat, and I don't know what damn fork I should use. I don't know why Trevor keeps on inviting me to this kind of events."

Scorpius smiles behind his glass. James looks truly uncomfortable, and the blond understands better why he wanted to go with someone. Adam Trevor – current Head Auror – glances at Scorpius suspiciously and the Malfoy heir gives him his sweetest – and fakest – smile.

"He keeps on inviting you because, one, you're his best Auror, and two, you're a Potter. Though maybe he won't be as enthusiastic if you keep on bringing me as your date. As for the forks, I'm sure you know exactly which one to use. You just don't see the point and would be happier with mashed potatoes."

James sticks his tongue out quite childishly and begins to stab the piece of fish in his plate with far too much force. Scorpius belatedly realizes that his hand is still on the brunet's arm and removes it quickly.

After dinner, Trevor stops glaring at Scorpius for a few minutes and speaks to James in hush tones, and whatever he's telling the dark haired must not be pleasant, if James' closed face and frantic head shaking are any clue. The brown eyes suddenly search the room and stop on Scorpius, who can only try not to choke on his own spit at the intense emotion on this friend's face. James says something to his superior that doesn't seem to please the older man one bit before crossing the room and taking Scorpius' elbow to lead him outside.

Scorpius lets him pace on the pavement for a few minutes before carefully asking him what's in the hell has got his knickers in a twist like that.

"Bastard told me to find a different date next time!"

"Ah."

Well, Scorpius can't say that it's unexpected. It's bad enough that James brings a male date – some of the older Ministry members are very old-fashioned – but a Malfoy...

"Ah?"

"James. Calm down. You can't expect him to have another reaction." James opens his mouth and Scorpius shakes his head. "No, wait. Trevor is an ambitious man. He makes you come to those little official dinners because you're good for his image: his best Auror, the dedicated and hard-working eldest son of Harry Potter. And suddenly you appear with a date – which hasn't happened before, or so I've been told – without telling him beforehand, and said date is, to put it bluntly, a social pariah, not to mention a man. It's unexpected, it's unsettling, and he doesn't like that."

"Well I don't care!"

Scorpius smiles, because it's so much like James. His cheeks are flushed with anger and he's nearly panting, and the sight is oddly endearing.

"I know you don't. But... maybe you should."

"What?"

"It's not only Trevor's ambitions that are at stake, James. It could affect your career as well. I don't think you should jeopardize years of hard work for a fake relationship."

Something flashes in James eyes before he looks away, and he seems even angrier.

"I won't hide what I am for-"

"No, no, of course not, and when you find someone, you shouldn't hide your relationship or anything. But it would probably better for you not to be seen with me like that again." It doesn't even hurt, not like it used to when he was younger. "I don't mind what they say, or the way they look at me, but I don't think it's worth it for you."

"It shouldn't matter" James mutters stubbornly and Scorpius nods with a smile.

"No, it shouldn't. But you know it does."

"And if I don't care about my career?"

Scorpius raises an eyebrow.

"I know you love being an Auror."

"I do. But I like to think that it entails other things that running after criminals and landing myself in St Mungo's more times than I can count. I wanted to do that job because I believe in justice and I wanted to fight for it. And if we cannot see past old prejudices and names, then what's the point?"

Scorpius almost snorts and blurts out how naïve James is, but he can't. Because it's clear from James' face, from his clenched fists and fierce glare, that he believes what he's just said.

And Scorpius has suddenly no answers.

"I don't know" he breathes, and he shakes his head to clear his mind. "And I rather doubt that we will solve this tonight. If I know you at all, you've got to be hungry. Shall we find something to feed that stomach of yours then?"

James blinks, apparently taken aback by the suggestion, before grinning a bit sheepishly.

"I could eat" he admits, and Scorpius chuckles.

"Alright then. Let's go."

HP-HP-HP-HP

Scorpius comes home that night with a belly full of greasy food and a silly grin on his face, only to find an owl waiting for him behind his window.

It's from Hugo. A place for next Sunday's Quidditch match – the highly awaited England/Bulgaria match – and a very short note.

_Last chance, Scorp. _

And Scorpius is suddenly very angry. With Hugo, because who the hell does he think he is? And who told the guy it was okay to call him Scorp? No one calls him by this nickname, except for Albus. No one.

But mostly he's angry with himself, because he can't help but considering going.

He Apparates away before he knows what he's doing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Slash (nothing too graphic) / Perhaps some violence at one point or another

**AN: **Hello there! Thank you for your reviews! I hope you like this one as well, let me know!

HP-HP-HP-HP

Scorpius should probably have thought about it longer, he muses as Albus opens the door clad only in his boxers, his eyes glazed and his dark auburn hair mussed. He looks like a sleepy kitty and Scorpius would laugh at him if he wasn't so fucking weary.

"Scorpius? Has something happened? Come in, mate."

And Albus, bless his soul, takes Scorpius' hand and drags him forward, not letting go until the blonde is sitting in his ugly couch.

"I'll be right back, I'll just put a tee-shirt on."

It's only when Scorpius hears Albus quietly murmuring something in the adjoining room that he realizes that his friend is probably not alone, and probably not so happy to see his idiotic best mate show up unannounced in the middle of the night. Still, Scorpius can't find it in him to stand up and leave, like he knows he should.

"Alright, explain now."

"Al, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come and-"

"Shut up. Well, no, talk, you know, just not to apologize. So?"

Words get out of Scorpius' mouth almost against his will, and by the time he's finished, almost panting and his cheeks flushed with anger and confusion, he realizes that Emily is there, sitting on Albus' lap in an too big shirt that must be Albus', and a thoughtful look on her pretty face.

"What d'you think, love?" Albus asks his girlfriend with a soft smile.

"I think this calls for chocolate. Lots of it."

"With Whiskey?"

"Of course."

She smiles at Scorpis as she stands up and busies herself in Albus small open kitchen, and the blonde can only stare.

"She's something else, isn't she?"

"That she is."

"Anyway, concerning your, er, problem, well... I have no clue what you should do."

"Thanks, mate."

Albus winces and bits his lower lip, and Scorpius has a flash of James doing the same. Some mannerisms are apparently genetically inherited.

"Sorry. Maybe... I mean... Or even if you... Oh, fuck, I really don't know."

"Merlin saves us from men. How you manage to even survive is beyond me."

Emily shakes her head sadly and gives each of them a mug of steaming hot cocoa that smells both sweet and spicy.

"That's not very nice, love."

"Well it's true."

"D'you know what he should do, then?"

"You bet I do" she says, and Scorpius doesn't like the glint in her eyes one bit."You" she says while pointing her small finger at Scorpius, who startles badly "will go to the match on Sunday. And you will ignore that dimwitted troll. You will spend the day with us and James, since we're going as well."

"I don't think-"

"He gave you the ticket, didn't he? Well, you're going to use it. And then you're going to show him that he can't buy anyone like that. Honestly! I would have hexed him into next century! He's lucky you're such a softie, Scorpius. I'm beat, I'm going to bed. Night, boys."

Scorpius gapes in a rather undignified manner and Albus chuckles quietly.

"Was she sorted in Slytherin?"

"No."

"Well, she should have been."

"I think she's just smarter than us. Well, that, and girls are used to deal with douche bags, I suppose."

"She's slightly terrifying, to be honest."

Albus beams and seems particularly pleased.

"D'you thing she's right?"

"Well… She usually is, you know." Albus shrugs and downs the rest of his mug. "Besides, Hugo deserves it. And it might be fun to see his face when he realizes what you've done."

"I don't know…"

"Sleep on it, mate. D'you want to crash on my couch?"

"No, no. Thank you, but I'm don't want to impose more than I already have."

"See you on Sunday, then?"

Albus grins and Scorpius can't help but laugh tiredly before hugging his best friend.

"Thank you, Al. You're the best."

"Technically, I think it's Emily who actually helped you, but since I've been smart enough to find her and make her somehow agree to date me, I accept your thanks." Albus hugs him tighter before drawing back. "And whatever you chose to do, I'm with you. Alright?"

"Alright."

"Though I can't guarantee that Emily won't strangle you if you give in to my stupid cousin. Will you be alright Apparating home?"

"Yes, I will. And, Al?"

"Yes?"

"Don't let her go. I like her."

Albus' smile is broad and bright, and Scorpius leaves with a lighter heart, even if his brain is still confused as hell.

HP-HP-HP-HP

Albus has been right.

It's worth it, if only to see Hugo's surprised face when he spots Scorpius in the crowd. He's looking way too smug then, and Scorpius frowns at the familiar smirk. It seems cold, somehow, and the blonde wonders how he could have found it attractive.

Emily is grining knowingly behind the redhead, her hand clasped with Albus', who's looking faintly worried and definitely amused.

"Scorpius! Glad you could make it!"

"Oh! Hello, Hugo. Thank you for the ticket, by the way."

Scorpius nods and steps around Hugo to hug Emily and Albus, suddenly glad for his father's lessons about self-control. It comes in handy, really, because even if he can feel his cheeks heat a little, he's acting confidently enough to fool anyone who doesn't really know him.

They make their way to their places, and the blonde smiles as he sees the two messy heads. James and Harry. James stops speaking to his father when he sees their little group and smiles a bit uncertainly. His father doesn't seem unsettled, though, and warmly greets Scorpius.

Albus has somehow managed to make Scorpius sit next to James, squeezing Emily between himself and the blonde, so that Hugo has no choice but to sit at the end of the row, far away from Scorpius, who barely refrains a smile.

James shifts beside him and leans forward to whisper in his ear.

"Scorpius? What's this about?"

"Let's just say that Hugo found it appropriate to send me a ticket in exchange for… well… personal favors."

"What?"

"And I'm following your future sister-in-law's advice."

"Emily?"

"Yes. If Al has half a brain, he'll marry her."

James chuckles and casually wraps an arm around Scorpius' shoulders, who grins at the dark haired's pleased expression.

"Good. Someone has to teach him to behave properly. Auntie Mione would be appalled by his behavior." James' easy grin disappears and he squeezes Scorpius' shoulder once. "Are you okay?" he asks, his eyes soft and warm, and the Malfoy heir can only nod.

He can barely focus on the match.

Firstly because Hugo is steadily glaring at him from his place, and for all his former assurance, Scorpius has to admit, at least to himself, that it is not a nice feeling.

Secondly because James' hand is heavy and hot on his shoulder, and, damn it all, he likes it. Possibly too much. And Harry Potter's soft smile each time he's looking at his two sons and their… partners isn't helping at all.

His life is becoming way too complicated.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K. Rowling, obviously, but thanks for asking.

**Warnings:** Slash (nothing too graphic) / Perhaps some violence at one point or another

**AN: **Another chapter! I should be updating my other WIPs but my muse is my muse and she does as she pleases. So, here you are! I hope you enjoy, have a nice day/night and leave me dozens of reviews (one can always hope). See you next chapter!

HP-HP-HP-HP

Albus' Patronus charges in Scorpius' bedroom in the middle of the night two days later. The silver fox speaks hurriedly, in a tense tone that wakes Scorpius more efficiently than a bucket of cold water.

_"__James' been injured. We're in St Mungo's. Come quickly."_

Scorpius barely takes the time to put on yesterday's clothes, not even bothering to tie his shoes before he throws himself in the Floo. His heart is beating so hard against his ribs that he's sure that the calm-looking Mediwitch behind her desk can hear it. His brain is drowning in questions – why has Albus called him? How bad are James' injuries? Will he die?

Merlin, no.

"Please, I'm here to see James Potter, Auror. He's been… He's injured."

"Are you family?"

She's eying him suspiciously behind her square glasses and Scorpius begins to panic. Of course she won't let him in.

"Please, he's my friend. His brother called me. Albus Potter."

"I'm sorry, but-"

"Scorpius! Thank Merlin you're here! Albus is beside himself with worry and Emily isn't in London tonight."

Harry Potter makes his way to Scorpius, worry creasing his brow and dark rings under his eyes.

"Mister Potter?"

"Oh, he's with me."

Harry grins and the Mediwitch melts on the spot. Apparently the eldest Potter's auro is still as powerful as ever. Scorpius would roll his eyes if he wasn't so out of sorts.

"Come, Scorpius. I'm glad you're here. I think it will help Al, and of course James will be happy to see you when he wakes up."

Guilt twists his gut and Scorpius swallows with difficulty.

"What happened?"

"He's been hit by several curses during an operation earlier this evening. He's been working on a difficult case for a few months and his team arrested him today. But his wife was in the house, which wasn't part of the plan, and well. Here he is."

"Did anybody else got hurt?" _Did anybody die?_

Harry laughs darkly.

"No. No, as per usual, Jamie is the only one landing himself in St Mungo's. He's been injured while shielding another Auror. Poor guy was so upset that I had to call his girlfriend to pick him up and bring him home."

Scorpius wants to ask how bad it is. He really wants to. But he cannot.

"James… He's going to be alright. I think. Well, the Healers seem to think so, at least. Just… He won't wake up. And they don't know why."

Scorpius places his hand on Harry's forearm and squeezes once, gently, because there isn't anything he could say that could make this better. James' father smiles and opens the blue door in front of them.

"Scorp! Merlin, you came!"

Albus launches himself at Scorpius, and the blonde can only try not to fall to the ground and wrap his arms around his best friend.

"It's going to be alright, Al. Calm down, mate."

"He doesn't wake up. Merlin, why doesn't he wake up?"

"I don't know, Al. Maybe you should have a cup of tea or something. You know James will be upset if he sees you like that. Come, I'll take you to the cafeteria, it should be open still."

"Actually, I need to get out for a while or I'll go mad. Come on, Albus."

Ginny stands up, the unusual paleness of her face enhancing her red-rimmed eyes. She hugs Scorpius briefly and lets Albus wrap an arm around her waist to lead her outside.

"It's hard for Ginny. She's been in this situation too many times, I think. I quit the Aurors partly because she couldn't stand to see me like this, and now her son follows my footsteps and, well…"

"It's not your fault. James loves what he's doing, you know, and I don't think he would have done something else, even if you weren't… well… you."

"Maybe not."

"And I'm sure he wouldn't want you to have such thoughts. He loves his family too much."

Harry smiles, and if his eyes fill with tears, well, no one has to know. Scorpius finally manages to take a look at the bed. His breath catches in his throat.

James is lying on that hospital bed, completely still, and it's the most terrible thing that Scorpius ever has witnessed.

James, so full of life, so restless, so fucking _alive_.

It's so wrong. Without thinking, Scorpius crosses the room and brushes his fingers against James' hand which is resting on the white sheets.

"I'll let you have some time with him."

"Oh! No, no, please, I just-"

"It's okay, Scorpius. You're his boyfriend, it's only natural, and I probably need some fresh air anyway."

Scorpius nods dumbly and watches Harry leave the room quietly.

"Merlin, James, what are you doing to yourself? Al is so worried… And your mother… You have to wake up, you know. Why don't you? I know you're tired, and I promise you'll rest all you want afterwards, but you have to wake up. Just, you know, to let us know you'll be alright."

He feels a bit foolish, talking to an unconscious man, but at the same time, it feels right, and his father always tells him to do what feels right. Scorpius cautiously takes James' hand in his, marveling at the differences between their fingers. At how different their skins are – fair against tanned, callused against soft. He's smiling like a loony for a few moments, and then his throat closes and he has to close his eyes.

"Please, James…"

"What are you doing here?"

Scorpius jumps two feet in the air and lets go of James' hand.

Hugo is standing in the doorstep, an angry flush on his face.

"Er… Al called me."

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get out. You don't have any right to be here."

"Hugo! What's gotten into you? Scorpius is James' boyfriend, of course he has to be there!"

Ginny and Harry are there, and Albus is standing behind them, a look of pure panic on his face.

"He's not his boyfriend. They're only… fake-dating or something. Albus' stupid idea. He doesn't even want James."

Ginny is looking lost and hurt, and Scorpius wants to disappear. His chest hurts and he's struggling to breathe.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Scorpius shakes his head and pushes past Hugo and Albus to get out.

He hears his name being called, but he doesn't turn around.

He's a coward.

And, to make things worse, he's a coward in love.


End file.
